Where Has the Time Gone?


Throughout life we often are ignorant to the passage of time.  Only at certain times do we sit up and take notice, such as birthdays, deaths, and milestones.
Perhaps because my birthday was earlier this week I am feeling a bit sentimental.  As a child I remember being so impatient for time to pass- when will summer vacation get here?  or I can’t wait until I’m an adult.  
At this time last year I was entering my uncomfortable last trimester of pregnancy and wishing time would speed up so I would no longer have a large swollen belly and so I could meet my precious baby.  Now I find myself surprised by how quickly time seems to pass and wishing it would slow down.  Next week Abby will be nine months old.  Each day she becomes more self-confident and daring.  She is eager to try something new but still looks back to make sure I am right behind her.  Now that she has figured out how to pick up food and feed herself she no longer wants me to spoon feed her so I end up with more food on her than in her.  She still wants to nurse but as soon as she is satisfied she is thrashing around trying to wiggle her way out of my grasp to get down to the floor to play, no longer wanting to cuddle. It is so bittersweet to feel her need me a little less.
 A week ago today my mother and aunts had an auction for of all of my grandmother’s things.  My grandmother is now in a nursing home and her home just sold.  My mom, sister, and I lived there with my grandmother for three years. It is sad for me to think that we will never spend another night at my grandma’s, nor celebrate another birthday or holiday there, never again have our Christmas pageant in the cold garage on Christmas Eve. I think of family members who are now gone and smile to think of how much they would have enjoyed Abby.
In just a few years we’ll look back at the present time and say, do you remember when? and again wonder where has the time gone? The passage of time is inevitable and cannot be slowed; to try to do so would be an exercise in futility. I am making a conscious effort each day to be present and enjoy this life of mine. After all, we only get one time around so why not make the best of it?

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