Motherhood: The Art of Pissing Off Everyone

Do you ever have days where it seems as though when you try your hardest to be a good parent you just end up feeling like you are doing the opposite?

I don’t try to be the cool mom and I’m not one of those parents who let their kids get away with being little monsters just because “they’re kids,” so if I see them doing something wrong or being mean I will call them out on it. That being said, I’ve come to see that no matter how I try to be fair and kind, try to teach my kids how to be good little human beings, or to do nice things for them, somehow it seems like I am just pissing off everyone.

Me: What would you like for lunch?

Abby: Cheese.

Me: You have to eat more than just cheese.

I make grilled cheese sandwiches, sliced cucumbers, and strawberries and bananas.

Abby: I just wanted cheese!

Me: I made you a grilled cheese sandwich, don’t you like it?

Abby eats every single speck of cheese out of the bread but does not any bread.

Abby: I just wanted cheese! (Cries)

Most often it is unintentional.

Me: (Sniffs) Come here, Oscar, I think we need to change your diaper.

Oscar: No!

Me: Come here, baby. It will just take a moment.

Oscar: No!

He runs away, then screams and thrashes around when I carry him to the changing mat.

Me: Oh, it’s not that bad, silly. Settle down.

Oscar: No! No! No!

He twists and writhes until he has escaped my grip. I catch him again and lay him back down to change his diaper, while he screams and screams.

Me: Oh, come on, isn’t it better to not have pants full of poop?

He sniffled and gives me the evil eye as he runs away to hide.

But other times it is with good reason.

Me: Abby, if you swing that toy around again I am going to take it away.

Abby: I won’t.

The toy swings and hits her brother.

Me: OK, bring it here.

Abby: No! I won’t do it again, I promise!

Ten seconds later the toy swings around again, knocks over a glass of water, and almost hits her brother again.

Me: OK, now I am putting it up.

Abby: Nooooooooooooo!

She wraps herself around the toy and holds onto it for dear life, while screaming and crying.

Me: (Sighing) I told you what would happen if you kept swinging it. Now I am taking it away.

Abby: Noooooooooo! No! Nooo! No, Mom! Nooooo! You’re the meanest mom ever!

I know most of the time they just get upset because they are a toddler and a threenager- and they don’t know how to express their emotions other than to scream and cry. I can understand being angry about getting a toy taken away or not getting to eat ice cream for breakfast. Other times it is so out of left field that I have no idea where it is coming from, like when we had to read ten Dr. Seuss books before bed, which then erupted into a screamfest because I wouldn’t read the eleventh book.

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According to my friend Kelly, who has two teenage girls, it only gets worse, yay. “Just wait until you have a PMSing teenager. That’s fun,” she said sarcastically. The crappy thing is, you can’t reason with a toddler or a three-year-old like you could with an older child, so at times I feel like I am sitting with my fingers in my ears, waiting for the anger bomb to go off.

All the smiles, snuggles, hugs, and giggles outweigh the tantrums, fits, and crying for no reason, but damned if it doesn’t still sting, especially when you are trying to teach them to be a good person. And, unlike with an adult, it doesn’t really ever register with them when they’ve hurt your feelings.

It never will be easy, but it will get better.

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2 thoughts on “Motherhood: The Art of Pissing Off Everyone

  1. WhyMommaWhy says:

    I hate to break it to you, but it’s hard to reason with a teenager too. They always think they know what they’re doing, and we’re just dumb, old adults. No matter how much I, I mean we, try to explain it to them. I have a 14 year old boy. Sorry. But I did love your story. 😊 The kids are ALWAYS angry at us for trying to teach them right from wrong.

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