This past week I have been grumpy and grouchy. Tired. Upset when the kids seem to plan together to do exactly the opposite of what I say. Bored with being at home all weekend. Having baby fever and then looking at my children’s baby photos and crying because they’ve already grown up so fast. Jealous when my husband has friends over for a beer at night or goes to hang out at a restaurant. Sick of being out of shape. Hating having to share one car because our second car died. Wishing I had made more money to be able to take stress off of my husband. Wondering if all the time and effort I put into blogging and promotion is worth it. Lonely because being a mom can be lonely at times. Spending more time on Twitter and Instagram because there are a few people I am friendly with who understand, but then get upset at myself for being online on my phone instead of paying more attention to my kids. Worried about the future of my job. Feeling that I suck as an artist and that I am wasting my time and money trying to do anything creative. Exhausted thinking about all of it.
What is wrong with me? I was thinking as I sat in my cubicle at work yesterday.
Then I realized, Sarah, you are depressed, dummy.
So yeah, I guess I am. It happens periodically, never to a great extent, but man, does it suck.
Since my realization, I have been trying to be more positive. I have been telling myself that it is just a temporary feeling. I have been trying extra hard to eat well and exercise more daily. I have ignored the fact that I need to work more on my blog and go to bed early (technically earlier).
I guess I just don’t know what else to do.
I know, this too shall pass, but it’s pretty crappy while it’s here.