I never realized how many doubts I would have after becoming a parent. It started right away: I remember being in the operating room during my C-section and thinking Can I really do this? when they placed Abby on my chest. Since then it has been a never-ending barrage of doubts about myself, my abilities as a parent, and how I am handling all of this new found responsibility called parenthood. It seems the questions never really go away; they pop up in bed at night when I should be sleeping, when I’m in the shower, or while on a walk.
-Am I doing anything right?
-Do I spend enough time with her?
-Am I doing enough to help her developmentally?
-Am I the reason why she won’t sleep alone?
-Is she too attached to me and not connecting enough with my husband?
-Does she drink enough milk?
-Is she getting enough solids? Enough of the right solids? Too much solids?
-Should I only be feeding her organic food?
-Is her occasional TV viewing when mommy needs a break bad?
-Does she get enough attention at daycare?
-Am I on the path to spoiling her too much?
-Am I giving my husband enough of my attention? Do I spend enough time with him?
-Is there something wrong with me because I want/need time alone?
-Why can’t I seem to be able to juggle all the demands of family, home, and work?
-Do I spend too much time playing with the baby and neglect the housework too much?
-So and so makes ____ look so easy; is there something wrong with me? It is not so easy for me.
-Am I providing a good example for her? I want to be a good role model.
I know these thoughts will only increase as Abby gets older and I have more children. They will evolve as our family does. Maybe it’s silly. Maybe I overthink and overanalyze, but itnis hard not to. So what to do about all those doubts? I think the best thing to do is to not see them negatively, but to use them to push myself to do my best and to do what is best for my daughter and my family.
How do you handle your mom doubt? I would love to hear from you.