Mom Confessions

Photo by Imani Clovis. From

  • 8:00 p.m. bedtime comes early once in a while to same Mom’s sanity. I’m not sure what we’ll do when they learn to tell time.
  • Sometimes I fake having to pee just so I can have a minute or two to myself.
  • Sorry kid, most of your Halloween candy was eaten by me. You don’t need that much sugar. I don’t either, but I am an adult so I can do what I want.
  • Those ballons that seemed like a fun idea before the birthday party in July were super annoying when they never popped and were still hanging around all over the house in the beginning of September… I may have helped them develop some holes and deflate.
  • I have only made it to work on time once in a month. Someone always has a meltdown or poops right as I am ready to walk out the door.
  • “You’ll have to ask your dad,” is my go-to when I don’t want to be the bad mom for saying no.
  • Caillou “doesn’t work” on the PBS app at our house.
  • Coffee is mommy’s best friend. I don’t know how some people get through life without it.
  • Is it weird that it isn’t weird to me any more to be covered in another little human’s poop, puke, and/or snot (sometimes all at the same time)?
  • Distracting the biggest kid with games on my old Kindle or PJ Masks on Netflix is the only way I can cook supper or put the littlest one to bed some nights.
  • I have learned to open the noisy glass snack jar really quietly because my kid has incredible hearing. Seriously, she may be an X-Men worthy mutant.
  • Often the easiest way to get Abby to eat a healthy breakfast is to share mine. Give her a bowl of oatmeal and she will say it is disgusting. Share oatmeal out of my bowl with her and she says it is delicious.
  • Abby is still using her pacifier. I’ve got her down to only using it at night, but at the moment I’m still trying to get her potty trained. I will fight the binky battle later.
  • Right now while the kids are playing at their grandparents’ house I am extremely tempted to go to the cupcake store a few blocks away and get a cupcake just for myself. Not to share.
  • When my alarm clock rings at 5:00 a.m. I often consider calling in sick just to get a day alone. I never do it, but I can daydream about it.
  • I think I like Spaghetti-os, PB&J sandwiches, and kid cereal more than my kid does. I am OK with that.
  • I may be more excited to play with Barbies, My Little Pony, or Care Bears than Abby is. I loved them so much as a kid.
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