I will preface this story with a comment about lying. I detest lying. I don’t like to lie to my kids, but sometimes I do it. Some truths are not appropriate to share at certain ages. It is sometimes easier to gloss over the truth a little or to conjure up a little white lie to make life function a little smoother or to preserve my sanity. No, I don’t know where your (super annoying) whistle from the carnival went!
One untruth that I gave perpetuated over the last few months is that I have eyes in the back of my head. So far, my daughter believes it.
It all started one morning as I was preparing for work. I was in the bathroom applying makeup and in the mirror I could see Abby in the other room. She was climbing on the couch to reach the Xbox controller, something she had been told not to play with. “Abby, leave that alone and don’t stand on the couch,” I told her. Startled, she looked up with a guilty look on her face and said, “I’m not, mom!” Of course, that was not true. “I can see you!” I replied. “No you can’t, you’re not looking at me!” she countered.
“I have eyes in the back of my head,” I told her. “All moms do, it’s a mom thing.” Immediately her hands went up to the back of her head. “I don’t have any!” she said, searching. “Of course not, you’re not a mom. You only get eyes in the back of your head when you become a mom. When a woman starts to grow a baby in her belly she also starts to grow eyes in the back of her head.”
After that she began to test me, sneaking around trying to ascertain if indeed I could see what she was doing behind my back. Luckily for me, a three-year-old is not too sly, and I could always hear her playing with the soap dispenser, trying to get into my makeup, or steal a snack.
She’ll figure out soon enough that I am not the all-seeing mom she thinks I am. For now, she believes me and I have one more tool to make her behave. And it will make a funny story someday.