The older my daughter gets, the more obvious it seems that toddlers operate by a different set of rules.
I happened to find a page from the secret Toddler Rule Book and decided to share it with you. Enjoy!
- No matter what delicious food you are given, always insist on eating what Mom and Dad are eating.
- Wherever Mom goes for alone time, find her and bug her until you have her full attention.
- Be incredibly quiet when being mischievous.
- Anytime adults are in a hurry or have a deadline, use this opportunity to move as slowly as possible and not acknowledge any instructions you are given.
- Even though you might be turning purple and shivering while sitting in cold bathwater, this is no excuse to get out of the bathtub. Keep playing as long as possible!
- Even if every episode of Curious George has been watched 70 times, ask to watch it again.
- Even if you acted like a food was delicious yesterday, it is perfectly fair to act like it is the grossest thing on Earth today.
- Fake ouchies and boo-boos deserve as much sympathy and attention as real ones. Band-aids are always necessary.
- Stickers must be placed on every available surface, from the kitchen table legs, to walls, or Mom’s butt when she isn’t looking.
- Stuff anything of an accommodating size into the toilet, clothes hamper, trash can, potato bin, and air vents.
- Shoes and socks must be removed during each car ride, no matter how short, especially when full of sand.
- Being naked at all times is better than wearing clothes. Always.
- It is lots of fun to walk around the house with Dad’s underwear around your neck on laundry day. No matter how many times Mom tries to take them off, find a way to put them back on.
- Cookies and marshmallows are acceptable for breakfast.
- Push any button that you see. Remote controls, keyboards, and phones are particularly fun.
- Anytime Mom and dad are trying to have a conversation, immediately interrupt with, “Mom! Mom!” or “Dad! Dad!” and don’t stop until you have their full attention, even if you have nothing to say.