Crap, I Ruined It

I don’t know how many of you paint, draw, sew, or do something equally creative.  Have you ever made something really cool and then thought,  what if I add _____, wouldn’t that be awesome? And then when you do, it didn’t look as awesome as you had pictured in your head? That’s what happened to me tonight.  
My dear husband took the baby out for a while this afternoon and I took the opportunity to paint.  I bought some new paint yesterday and was enjoying  just playing around with color.  I had watched some YouTube videos yesterday and I decided to experiment with some painting techniques I had seen.  Eventually, they came home and I had to stop, but I realized what I had made was pretty cool.  Actually, it was probably the best painting I have ever created.  Now understand,  I am not a great artist.  I just paint for the fun of it.  I know my work will never hang in the Met or the Louvre.  I have walked among Van Goughs, Monets, Renoirs… my art will never be of that caliber;  I accept that.  But I was pretty stoked and proud that I had made something so great.
After having so much fun this afternoon, I was itching to get back to painting and had an idea of something to add to what I had already done.  When Abby went to bed and my husband left to go meet a friend I got back work.  All too soon the baby woke up and I couldn’t get her back to sleep, so I carried her out to the dining room table where I had been working so I could clean my brushes. 
When I looked at the canvas I realized that I had totally ruined my painting.  Why did I touch it?  I felt like screaming.  I should have left it alone.  I’m not exaggerating, now it looks like crap.  I am so mad at myself.
I’m hoping that I can get some time tomorrow to be able to undo some of the damage done, but I doubt it. 


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