1. You will never sleep again
Seriously, my kid barely sleeps at all compared with the kids of other people I know or stuff that other moms post on the internet. I thought sleeping like a baby was a thing. Never again will I get a real nap or get to sleep past 6:00 am on a weekend. I wish I had taken to heart all the times people told me, “Sleep now, because you won’t get to when baby comes!” I thought they just meant the newborn phase, not nine months in.
2. You will not get any alone time with your husband
Maybe if the kid slept more we’d get a little mommy daddy time, but it doesn’t happen often. When it does, it is always for an unpredictable amount of time… it could be five minutes or an hour. I think one of the biggest things I miss about pre-baby life is time spent with my husband.
3. Don’t plan on sleeping on your stomach just yet
After my second trimester of pregnancy I longed to sleep on my tummy. I couldn’t wait until I delivered to be able to be comfortable sleeping again. I actually had to wait quite a long time to be able to sleep on my stomach. I had an unplanned C-section so my surgical scar ached and then after my milk came in my boobs were uncomfortable to sleep on for months.
4. Forget about following your favorite TV show
It takes us multiple nights to watch The Walking Dead. I think it took us four nights to watch Spectre, the last James Bond movie. We used to binge watch Netflix, but no more.
5. You’ll do things that you swore you wouldn’t
I swore I would never be a parent who would cosleep or let my kid watch TV until a certain age. Now sometimes letting the baby fall asleep on my chest on the couch is the only way momma gets any Zzzzs and turning on Daniel Tiger is how I get my coffee and oatmeal some mornings.
6. You’ll doubt yourself
Every day I wonder if I am doing things “right” or if I am a “good” mom. I always think my sister makes being a mom look so easy and then I am thinking ugh, why does ______ have to be so hard?! Am I doing this wrong?
7. You’ll have conflicting emotions
How is it possible to simultaneously love this little person more than anyone or anything else in the world and also be annoyed AF sometimes? You know- when you’re tired, sick, have to get up super early to make it to work for an important meeting, you have to pee sooo bad but can’t get up, it is 3:00 am, and you’re trying to get the kid to sleep for the eighth time of the night- but they are wide awake, ready to play, and showing no signs of being ready to sleep anytime soon.
8. You will worry about them, constantly
I am always worrying that Abby is not getting enough milk, if she is getting all the attention she needs at daycare, if the weird rash on her butt is a diaper rash, heat rash, or chicken pox… I could go on and on. My mom tells me it never ends, even when they are 34.
9. You will be utterly exausted
I used to drive an hour from my home to college, go to class for several hours, workout at the gym, go to work for eight hours, drive back home, and then do homework for a couple hours each day, five days a week. Sounds tiring, right? Maybe it is just because I am older now, but just going to work and then coming home and taking care of Abby leaves me exausted and ready to crash by 8:00 pm.
10. You will be amazed
You created a new life: an adorable, incredible, beautiful, fascinating little person. I wonder each day how I made something so great- when I can barely make toast without burning the house down.