Ten Ridiculous Things I Have Told My Toddler

Photo by Beatriz Perez Moya. From http://www.unsplash.com

A few weeks ago I realized that I say some really weird things to my kid sometimes.  I decided to keep a list and share it with you.  Maybe some of you can relate, maybe some of you will think I am crazy.  Enjoy!

Here is a list of some of the of the stupid (or hilarious) things I have told my toddler:

1. If you’re not going to drink your milk responsibly,  I am going to take it away

2. Quit trying to wipe your butt on my face

3. Quit licking your legs and don’t chew on your toenails 

4. Don’t lick the bedpost

5. I hate this wallpaper, but please don’t pull it off of the wall

6. Tacos don’t belong in your nose

7. Peas don’t go between your toes

8. Don’t pick your nose and draw on the glass of the front door with it

9. If you keep eating troll hair it will keep getting stuck in the back of your throat 

10. I know you want to be close to Mommy, but I don’t need you on my lap while I go poop

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